Can I Get a Little...  

Posted by Matt


...prayer?

Tomorrow night is my first authentic "talk" at church. Ever.

So odd to be nervous about teaching, when I've never been nervous a single class period of my entire teaching career and not a single moment in my time with the Drum Major Academy (where I've gotten to teach and play with ~200 students). But I am. Nervous. I think in a scary way nervous...and in an excited way nervous.

I suppose I realize that this is the first measurable step I've taken toward doing what I feel like and I hope God is leading me toward. I suppose I realize that this isn't The Great Gatsby, paratactic syntax, conducting music, or how to clean a drill set. I suppose I realize that I'm stepping up to the plate and asking God to speak through me about His Word to others.

There's some scary crap God says will happen to irresponsible and false teachers--I've tried to pray and read and prepare. I don't believe that what I've been given to say is false. I certainly hope what comes out of my mouth is coming from my heart (that's where Jesus lives, despite rumors that He lives in my stomach and likes burritos).

Pray for me for Wednesday night. I'll be speaking to the Uprising youth group at Avalon Church. The subject: Connecting With God...in Relationships." The gist is essentially that God doesn't want us Christians to try to do the "Christian Thing" alone. We are meant to live in community and be responsible to and for each other. I feel like God's offered me lots to chew on and discuss. Here's to good analogies, meaningful, relevant stories, and candid-honest-real expression.

If you see me fussing over whether I'll do a good job or not after this post, smack me on the hand, dear inter-web small group. That means I'm relying on my use of my talents and skills, and that I'm not relying on Jesus.

In the end, I really think that this is what God is, and has been, calling me to do my whole life--talk to, entertain, and teach people. My skill set involves being in front of people and trying to capture their attention with intelligent, fun, and inspiring ideas. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, just as much as I'm nervous about it.

1 comments

Kenny   says July 16, 2008 at 8:58 AM

I've always enjoyed speaking about spiritual topics for the simple reason - it's not about me at all. So if I screw it up, it's because I let "me" get in the way.

I still get nervous every time, because when it comes down to it, it's out of my control.

Try to relax, and enjoy. We'll be praying for you, and Shannon and I will be there tonight. Just let me know when to show up and where to go!

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I'm just a suburban guy. I wish I were hardcore, I wish I were tougher, I wish I listened to cooler music, I wish I weren't a lush, I wish I had big muscles, cooler hair, and some rad tattoos, I wish I were smarter, cooler, and sexier, I wish I knew how to play guitar. Instead, I'm just a band geek, power-nerd wannabe, WoW gamer, 30 year-old dad and husband. I play french horn, I read the Vampire Chronicles as well as the Chronic-WHAT?!-les of Narnia, I like movies, but not all the snobby-artsy ones I'm "supposed" to see, and a good meal to me is Miller Lite with chicken patties topped in barbecue sauce. ...oh...and I have a big mouth.

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